I am going to visit the topic of infertlity but from an odd place. Most people talk about the proccess and coming to peace with whatever happens. And I have done these things but what about after that time. You are not trying to get pregnant anymore; or you have gotten pregnant and you are done; or whatever your situation. But what do you do when something "normal" for everyone else happens to you. How do you feel? What do you think? I am not sure what others think but here is my experience recently.
It is a little hard to explain but there are things in life that normal for most people but for some people with infertlity there is nothing normal about it. With all the drugs or testing you often feel like a pin cushion or science experiment or just "weird" or abnormal. You come to terms with the fact you are never going to be "normal." So when your body does something normal you are excited. You go wow and then you start to wonder again.
Do I suddenly expect something to change. To just say no is not totally true but it is sort of odd. It crosses my mind but usually not enough to take a test or prusue it. And then it goes to the back burner. For me there isn't an extreme high or low anymore. But normal in itself is exciting. Maybe because it makes me feel less like a freak and more like everyone else. "Normal" may only be a moment in time or may become a part regular part of my life. Either way I am enjoying my normal moment.
To women and/or men dealing with infertlity enjoy the moments of normal. Enjoy them for not what they could mean but just for being normal. For me that is the joy of "Normal."
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2 comments:
i appreciate how open and honest you are about this subject. you are amazing!
I can certainly relate to every word spoken here. Thank you for your openness... You have certainly been a blessing to me. You make me feel... "normal." :)
Angie
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