The Gym

I have been avoiding this post and wanting to do this post at the same time.  Here is why.  I have terrible discipline and fear being a hypocrite.  Yes, I am aware we all are at some point, but the subject of weight and health are complicated. I know that many people struggle to be healthy and are presently thinking that skinny people have no idea.  Yes, I am aware that I have no idea.  However, I wish to write this to be honest and to encourage the trainer I have been working with at the gym.

What most people don't realize is that my weight has been inching up slowly over the past 10 years.  Yes, some of it came on when I was doing infertility treatments but a great deal had to do with my lack of exercise and to a lesser extent my food habits.  Because of 3 kids and being 30 minutes plus from a gym that would have child care, I ignored the exercise part of being healthy.  At home, there was always one more thing that needed done more than exercise.  As I slowly gained weight, I knew that I was beginning to have trouble keeping up with my kids.  Things I had done without thinking with Aaron and Andrew, I wasn't doing with Angela.  In February, a gym opened about 10 minutes from my house and didn't mind if my daughter was there.  So I put my toe into the exercise world  and started doing classes.  You see I need the discipline of having to show up somewhere.  In May, I started to personal train.  I had talked to someone I trusted about what to look for in trainer and Kaila seemed to match.  So I gave it a try.

I suspect that you are waiting for me tell you about my amazing weight loss.  No, I have not lost a single pound. But I asked Kaila for a different goal.  On a side note she does help people lose weight and seems pretty good at it.  My goal was to be healthy because in my job when I am not chasing 3 kids around I tell people to be healthy and exercise.  I also needed the pressure of telling someone I will show up on X day and actually doing it.  In May as I began my journey to be healthy there were a lot of things I could not do and I often felt like I was going to fall on my head.  She always offered alternative ways to do the task but also encouraged me through it.  This is not to says I don't regularly come home sore and discovering muscles I haven't used since...lets just say high school was a LONG time ago.

The thing I have enjoyed most is that the exercises are varied each time.  Yes, they are the same basic moves but she has me do them in different positions and on different machines.  I remember fearing free weights.  That is something guys with way too much testosterone use to pretend to be tough.  She has used those weights to improve my balance and strength muscles in ways I could never imagine.  It seems like every week I do a exercise I tried at the beginning of the summer and I get to say I couldn't do that before.  I am measuring success not by the weight I have lost but by the strength  and skills I have gained.  I can now squat with weight on my shoulders, I can balance on a buso ball without feeling like I am falling on my head.  I can lift my legs over and under things that I thought were impossible when I started.  I have seen muscles return to my legs, arms and yes my bottom.  My clothes are fitting better even though I haven't lost a pound and I haven't gained any either.  I am keeping up with my kids in ways I haven't been able to for a while.

With the kids headed to school, exercising should get easier but I have learned many things this summer.  One, I still need the pressure of someone telling me what to do.  Two, I can get up at an unearthly hour to go exercise.  Three, I can look my patients in the face and tell them I get it and I am attempting to practice what I preach.

Finally, I am typing this to hold myself accountable.  It is easy for me to say I am too busy.  So now it is in print, I am reminded to practice what I preach.  I hope, also, that this might encourage someone to define success a little different or hang in there if you are not seeing instant results.  You are getting healthy and that is success.